By Leigh DeBord
“What is a command purpose?” Command purpose is unique to every individual. It is a way to articulate your value and how you want to use your value to be a positive influence in the world. It is a concise statement that explains your why. It is constructed from the experiences over the course of your lifetime that shaped you into the person you are today. Cadie Naquin, co-founder of The Command Purpose Foundation, put it this way: “When you are communicating an idea that requires courage, you feel your body go into fight or flight mode and you know you are on the right track.” This is the essence of your command purpose. It is authentically and consistently communicating your values with conviction.
During the most recent event in The Command Purpose Foundation Series, the discussion examined communicating your command purpose with confidence, clarity, and courage. First, the group explored how to be a confident speaker.
Three keys to speaking confidently
Three components of confident speaking include: body, belief, and battologize. The group did a breathing exercise that can be used before public speaking or when nerves need to be calmed prior to starting a thought. Close your eyes and breathe through your nose. Fill your lungs with air, then take one more sip of air. Exhale slowly through your nose until all the air is gone, then exhale a little bit more. Repeat two more times. After this exercise, many members of the group said they felt their body relax and felt more at ease. This is a quick and discreet way to calm your nerves and gather your thoughts before expressing them. Once you have taken some deep breaths, you are postured to deliver your thoughts with confidence.
Next, the group discussed beliefs. Attendees unanimously agreed that when they believed in what they were speaking about or discussing, they felt much more confident in their delivery. Many participants also highlighted that they felt much more confident and articulate, and had stronger delivery of a message when their audience was subordinate to them or lower in the power structure. They were not as self-assured and clear in their communication when the delivery was to a peer or someone superior to them.
Navigating power dynamics in the workplace
A few participants in the group said they found that if they needed a message to come across and didn’t think their voice would resonate, they would have an ally that was better positioned deliver their message to the audience, or they would tailor their message to their audience using a different delivery. Others did pre-work to gain support for an idea prior to delivering it in a formal setting. Some participants also found that they are much more confident when using the written word versus speaking.
Instead of saying “Does that make sense?” say: “I’m happy to discuss if you have questions.” By changing the wording, the point still comes across without the element of self-doubt.
Overall, the consensus was that when trying to lead peers or communicate with a boss or a person higher in the power structure, the confidence in the delivery of the message dwindled. The group discovered that when they were less confident in their message and delivery, they tended to battologize, repeat words or phrases to a tiresome degree. Some examples of these included asking, “Does that make sense?” after finishing a thought, or opening an email, “May I just have a moment of your time?”, and saying phrases such as, “I could be wrong.” After admitting the use of these phrases, the group brainstormed different ways to ask these questions without undermining their confidence. For example, instead of saying “Does that make sense?” say: “I’m happy to discuss if you have questions.” By changing the wording, the point still comes across without the element of self-doubt.
Challenges to delivering your message clearly
When communicating confidently, even though we are sure of our message, we sometimes muddle the delivery. This can happen for a number of reasons. In his book, Brief: Make a Bigger Impact by Saying Less, Joseph McCormack lists the “Seven Capital Sins of Brevity.” They are: cowardice, confidence, callousness, comfort, confusion, complication, and carelessness. Many of the group members admitted that a combination of these “C’s” contributed to their inability to clearly articulate their message when speaking. Most of the military veterans at the event included confusion in their list. In the military, decisiveness is required. There is often not time to circle back to a point, and as a result, many military leaders think out loud, on the spot, in order to come to an immediate decision. In the civilian sector, time is less of a factor and therefore, ideas can be mulled over before decisions are made. Since many military leaders have a habit of thinking out loud, that quality transfers into their civilian careers and can cause confusion because people act on a thought, mistaking it as a decision. It is important to be mindful of the environment and audience when making decisions or discussing options so there is not a knee-jerk reaction or undisciplined initiative taken.
To communicate our command purpose with confidence and clarity we must have courage of conviction, and a commitment to our values.
When constructing a thought or email, use the “BRIEF” method, also outlined in Joseph McCormack’s book. Structure your message by giving a background or beginning (B). For the Army veterans, it is like the situation paragraph of an operations order. Next, provide the reason or relevance (R), the mission (next paragraph of an operations order). Then provide the necessary information (I), like the execution paragraph of an operations order. Then sum it up with an ending or conclusion (E) and allow for follow up or any questions (F). In addition to the BRIEF Method, there were some tools provided to help with ways to clarify what you are trying to say.
Stanford Business School’s Six Tools to Explain Complex Concepts presented six examples to help clarify a concept or thought: use a diagram, deconstruct a concept, draw a picture, conduct a comparison, backwards map, or chunk ideas. All of these strategies are great to use in order to clarify what you are trying to say.
At the beginning of the event, the facilitator posed this question: What does communicating with command presence have to do with rediscovering my command purpose? The last portion of discussion at the event answered this question — courage. Merriam-Webster defines courage as, “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.” We can clearly communicate ideas in which we are confident, that describe our command purpose. Our command purpose is our value, our belief, our moral code. To communicate our command purpose with confidence and clarity we must have courage of conviction, and a commitment to our values. We must be able to stand for what we believe in and communicate it regardless of how comfortable or uncomfortable we feel in a situation. We lead with why and act accordingly. Communicating our command purpose with presence requires us to feel the fear … and do it anyway.