By Leigh DeBord
When we enter the military, we all serve for different reasons and we have different career goals. Some of us really enjoy our time in the military and some of us are counting down the days until we are free of our service commitment and can move on to the next thing.
There are a lot of us though, who really struggle with the decision of whether to continue with a career in the military or to make the transition out. We also have to consider, do we cut ties completely with the military or do we just serve in a different capacity in the National Guard or the Reserves? These decisions weigh heavily on us as we try to choose what’s next for our lives.
Many of us that made the decision to leave spent countless hours weighing the pros and cons. We examined different courses of action and compared what our life in the military looked like versus what life would like as a civilian. We sought advice from people who made the transition out, we talked to recruiters, we read books, we consulted with our peers who were still in, we talked to our supervisors and mentors about it. We thought about the freedoms that we would have on the outside. The prospect of higher wages for less commitment and a better work life balance. All of these aspects we considered when making our decision.
Making this decision is not just a career change, it is a lifestyle change.
After making the decision myself to leave the Army and listening to countless others talk about their transition out, the only person who can decide if it is right for you to continue your career or change careers, is you.
At Command Purpose, our target audience is veterans who have made the decision to leave the military. We have heard so many stories, however, from our members about how difficult the decision was to leave, and how hard it was to acclimate back into the civilian sector, we felt it necessary to address the population of service members who don’t yet know what they should do.
First, we want to tell you it is normal to feel stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. Making this decision is not just a career change, it is a lifestyle change. Before you start thinking about what jobs you should research, whether or not to go to school, or if you should take some time to travel or just enjoy your freedom, we encourage you to conduct introspection and reflection.
In her book, Who You Were Meant To Be, Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, explains our ultimate direction has to come from the still, small voice inside us, from synchronicities and serendipities, from moments of enlightenment and moments of hitting rock bottom. If we don’t know what we enjoy, we don’t know who we are.
What were your moments of growth, fulfillment, joy? What activities made you the happiest and why? What emotions do you feel when you think back to moments of impact in your life?
In addition to writing a pros and cons list, we believe you should spend time reflecting on your time in the military and your life as a whole. What were your moments of growth, fulfillment, joy? What activities made you the happiest and why? What emotions do you feel when you think back to moments of impact in your life? What challenges created the most growth for you and what did you learn about yourself in times of fear, uncertainty, and ambiguity? When you reflect on your service, what did you love about it and what did you hate? All of the answers to these questions may provide you clarity that you will not find in a comparison list of pros and cons.
When we talk about the transition out of the military at Command Purpose, we describe it as multi-layered. The first layer begins when you start thinking about making the transition. The second layer is submitting your paperwork and beginning to research career fields or grad schools, searching for open jobs, applying, and interviewing. The third layer is starting your new job, and the remaining layers are moving to a new location, starting over in a new community, acclimating back into civilian life, trying to develop new friendships and work relationships.
The thing I miss the most about the military, and the overwhelming sentiment I have heard from other veterans about what they miss the most, is the people. The relationships, living in close proximity to friends, being around people who have shared experiences and can relate to you. Working with people who know what it means to serve a purpose bigger than yourself, to be part of a team. These are the common themes veterans speak of when reflecting on what they miss about the military.
If you choose to leave the military, you need to take your confidence, your value, and your purpose with you into your next season of life.
The corporate sector is just not the same. There is a limitation to sharing company values, they are not embodied the same way the military embodies core values. Depending on your industry and the company culture, there can be a significant lack of leadership, development, and teamwork, and office politics are a very real part of the corporate world.
The military gives you a sense of purpose and value. You are a self-confident leader, you know your strengths and your worth. You have a defined mission, and you understand how to train and lead a team to accomplish a set of objectives. If you choose to leave the military, you need to take your confidence, your value, and your purpose with you into your next season of life.
I think many of us, uncertain about what we should do next or what level or responsibility we are qualified to have based on our military experience and technical skill set, rely on recruiters, headhunters, or interviewers to tell us what we are best suited to do and what level of responsibility we can handle. This is the biggest mistake we can make as transitioning veterans.
This is why it is so important to identify your core values, what brings you joy and fulfillment, and what makes you unique before you make your transition. Try to find careers that suit your interests and align with your true self’s desires. As a leader in the military, yes you had a specific job with a technical skill set, but you also have so many other skills and you are able to adapt in any environment. You know how to critically think, problem solve, gather information, take calculated risks, and make decisions under pressure. You know how to lead and you can build a team that can accomplish goals.
You, as a military veteran, have the skill set to become a successful leader in the civilian world, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or devalue what that is worth.
Simon Sinek, TedX speaker and best selling author, says “There is no such thing as soft skills.” He calls them human skills. He points out that many companies often overlook their best internal leaders because they don’t place enough value on these crucial interpersonal qualities.
You, as a military veteran, have the skill set to become a successful leader in the civilian world, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise or devalue what that is worth. Your “soft skills” are what make you unique and they are why companies want to hire veterans.
If you are deciding whether or not to leave the military, remember, the only person that can make that decision for you is you.
If you are tired of what you are putting up with and there is a mismatch between where you are now and where you want to be, it might be time to move on from the military and start pursuing your dreams.
Healthy things grow and growing things change. Change challenges us. Growth is a key element of change and when we grow, we need to say goodbye to something so we can make room for our next thing. Making the transition out of the military can be frightening, uncomfortable, and lonely, but we are here to help.
Come join the Command Purpose Community and attend Workshop 1, where you will create your personal mission statement and define your Command Purpose. At The Command Purpose Foundation, our mission is to provide a platform of introspection and reflection for you to identify your value and reconnect with your purpose so you can move into your next season of life as an empowered, confident leader. We hope that if you do decide to leave the military, you make Command Purpose part of your journey!